DnD Sex Edition

A response to any player who has said "I roll to seduce the monster! Nat 20!!"


Nat 20 to Seduce a… Ghoul!

Ghouls are the scavengers of the graveyard. Humanoids who die from ghoul fever and return with an insatiable desire to eat dead, preferably rotting, humanoid flesh. Like other scavengers of the animal kingdom, ghouls are not above killing prey to speed things along. Ghouls can vary in their intelligence levels from a step above animalistic instinct driven to complex and grotesque societies. Ghouls can be any number of humanoid species. They become a more gaunt version of their previous living self, unable to gain weight from their cannibalistic habits. 

The earth beneath your feet gives softly with each step, releasing a scent of freshly tilled soil mixed with the sickly scent of decay. You’ve heard that ghouls have hungers and needs beyond their obsession with feasting on corpses but this is the first chance you’ve had to test the theory. She might have been pretty before death and time stretched her features tautly across her bones. An overlong tongue lolls from a mouth filled with sharpened teeth as she considers you. The ghoul approaches you slowly. “You think I’m pretty?” she asks. She looks up at you like a shy village girl, gravedirt covering her hands and smudging her mouth.

Make a Performance check (DC 5) to see if the PC can get a dinner date with the ghoul.

On a success: You cannot tell if she’d rather swallow your cock alive or dead and the uncertainty is exhilarating. Blood courses south and you begin to fill out your breeches. You tell her she’s beautiful and call her a unique moon-blossoming flower. You reach out to rub a bit of the gravedirt from the corner of her mouth and she smiles up at you. Her sharp deadly teeth are stained a ruddy brown of old blood. 

She grabs your hand and pulls you further into the graveyard, behind a larger mausoleum where the shadows are darkest. When you’re hidden from whatever prying eyes she’d rather avoid, you press her against the stone building and kiss her. Her long tongue snakes into your mouth and you let the curious organ explore. Her breath is fetid and cool, but no worse than a village girl who doesn’t see the value in caring for her teeth. 

You peel back her scraps of clothing and grasp for her breasts. Her chest is sunken with decay and you trace the indentations between her ribs. She claws at your breeches, cutting through the laces with her nails, and your cock springs free. She moves to wrap that long tongue around your member, but you keep her pressed against the mausoleum wall instead. You notch your cock at her entrance and slowly begin to press inside of her. 

“Yes, I’ve missed this,” she whispers. Her pussy is dry and tight, as desiccated as the rest of her.  You push in and begin to piston your hips, thinking that she must start to slicken as you work given her enthusiasm. 

You keep trying but your cock starts to feel chafed from her thinly covered pubic bone. She gives a frustrated grunt before gripping your cock with those vicious clawed fingers. You pause, wondering if you have rubbed your cock raw, if it’s bleeding. Would the smell of blood turn her on or awaken her hunger? 

“It’s no use,” she says, shyly looking up at you once more. “Men really are good for only one thing these days.” She kisses your neck for a moment before you feel her teeth pressing into your skin.

Initiate combat with the ghoul using a bite attack in a surprise round.

On a fail: You cannot tell if she’d rather swallow your cock alive or dead and the uncertainty is unsettling. Up close, you can see her sharp deadly teeth are stained a ruddy brown of old blood. 

“Am I not pretty enough for you?” she taunts, losing her shy village girl demeanor. “Well at least men are still good for something.” She lunges forward abruptly, reaching out to claw you.

Initiate combat with the ghoul using a claw attack in a surprise round.



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