DnD Sex Edition

A revenant is an undead humanoid hellbent on seeking revenge against their killers. These at first appear to be little more than very focused zombies. The updated Pathfinder version gives them an Intelligence score of 0 to reflect the fact that they do not actually consider anything outside of their vengeance. 

The 2014 DnD 5e Monster Manual is, however, my main guide for picking monsters to write about. That version of the revenant has an Int of 13, moving these creatures well into the consenting category and giving them an above average intellect. Pretty good for an ADHD zombie trying Ritalin for the first time. Being able to think would allow a revenant to be methodical in their pursuit of their prey, but it wouldn’t necessarily make up for the zombie appearance.

Revenants don’t reproduce so they have no sex drive. Even with a natural 20 to seduce one of these undead, a PC would essentially have to also be the quarry of the creature’s hunt just to get their attention.

The time had come to face the silent stalker who you had seen around town all evening. He’d been outside your inn that morning. Across the market square in the afternoon. Seated in a darkened corner of your usual tavern. Now, he was alone with you in the shadows of the alleyway. Obviously, he was a fan. What other kind of person would cross your path so often? You’d slept with groupies before. They were typically boring, like most human trysts, but you’d be happy to give this one what he wanted and move on.  

Optional: Ask for a useless die roll from the PC. All that really will allow this to succeed is if the PC is the revenant’s target.

On a success: His features come into focus in the dim lighting as your eyes adjust. Dark circles with sunken cheeks make him look like a pesh addict. He had a faint scent of unwashed body underneath the cover of a heavier perfume. Just as you start to rethink your advances, he stumbles forward into your arms, pressing you against the hard stone wall of the alley. The aggression gets your blood pumping southward. You’ve slept with worse than unwashed humans. 

His hands rip at your clothing and his thin lips land on your neck. Putrid breath makes you turn your head away. You turn the motion into a seductive head tilt, allowing his teeth to rasp along your skin. Breathing through your mouth, you think you can make it work. You feel his long nails skim across your exposed stomach as he fusses with opening your trousers. 

With a hand on each of his shoulders, you push him downward. A blowjob might be the best option. He hits the cobblestones with a hard dull thud. When you look down upon him, you realize that his fingernails are dull white exposed bones. He shifts awkwardly on his knees to bring his fist around and punch straight up and into your exposed hardened cock.

Initiate combat with the PC taking an initial automatic hit for 6d6 + 4 bludgeoning damage.

On a fail: His features come into focus in the dim lighting as your eyes adjust. Dark circles with sunken cheeks make him look like a pesh addict.

Up close, you decide that this is not the type of groupie you want to encourage. You start to explain that you’re not interested, but he ignores you completely, lurching down the darkened alley.

As his figure fades into the darkness, you decide he must not have been stalking you after all.

The PC is unmolested by the revenant.