Why are Fungi included in the 2014 Monster Manual? I know that fungi aren’t plants or animals, but the description in the MM is more akin to traps than monstrous adversaries. Still, since that’s my source book for which creatures to write about, I’ll give it a go. I chose to focus on the shrieker as it is the most phallic-looking fungi.
The mushroom before you is close to your height so you are eye-level with its dark head covered in small round openings. Its long shaft and bulbous head are reminiscent of a stylized cock. Would its flesh be as spongy? Could you climb up and see if you could insert yourself into one of those holes? Your pants grow tight at the thought and you reach out to delicately trace the rippling gills under the cap.
Roll a d100.
96-100: The fungus releases a cloud of spores with a keening wail that reminds you of the banshee’s shriek of pleasure. The memory of your time with the banshee coupled with the mushroom’s sound pushes you over the edge and you come in your own pants.
1-95: The fungus releases an ear-piercing wail that reminds you of a dying sheep. Its a boner-killer and now everyone knows where you are.
DnD Sex Edition 
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