DnD Sex Edition

A beholder is arguably one of the most well-known DnD creatures. The hovering eye surrounded by eyestalks and a huge gaping maw is hard to forget. The aberration has a known reproductive cycle that can be either physical or magical. Either way, the goal is to create a singular offspring that is similar to the parent. That goal, combined with the lack of traditional (and permanent) reproductive organs, makes PC/monster sex damn near impossible. That doesn’t mean at least one PC out there (like mine) won’t try their luck!

You crane your neck back to watch the slow, deliberate descent of the large levitating creature. Its eyestalks wave about, scanning the shadows of the cavern for any other threats. The central eye is fixed firmly on you, having heard your seductive call. It speaks in the hissing tones of the Underdark creatures. “You wish to sleep with me?” (In Undercommon).   

Make a DC 20 Performance Check to see if the PC can take the Beholder to cloud 9.

On a success: A light flashes before your eyes and you suddenly find yourself naked in an empty landscape. The beholder is the only other thing you see and its not the only thing that is rising up. Your cock urgently needs your attention. The creature floats lower, a long prehensile tongue reaches out and grasps your cock firmly. It coils around you, like the tail of the yuan-ti woman you slept with a few months ago. You stare, unblinking, into the central eye while you reach out and caress the eyestalks. The creature’s hide is hard, but brittle, like an insect. 

The beholder’s tongue is hot and moist. It grips you with ruthless efficiency and pulls you forward into the warm cavern of its mouth. Your balls tighten and you come deep into the creature. Its tongue recoils and the beholder immediately begins hacking. Its a retching, terrible noise that really kills the mood. The tongue that just caressed your cock to climax protrudes grotesquely while the creature gags. With a wet plop, a ball of mucus is expelled, striking against your chest. 

Suddenly, you awake, back in the cavern. The beholder is still watching you with its central eye and you’re holding a wet form that did not exist a minute ago when you were struck with the Sleep Ray. 

You pull back and drop the ball of mucus, but it does not strike the cavern floor as you expect. It hovers and begins to extend miniature eyestalks. An infant beholder! When you look closely, its eyes are the same color as your own. The adult beholder floats nearer, to inspect its offspring. The small creature begins to speak and is immediately eaten in one swift bite by the adult. “An abomination!” (in Undercommon). Whirling to glare at you again, the beholder unleashes its ray again.

Initiate combat with the Beholder using its ray attack in a surprise round. The Sleep Ray has already been used.

On a fail: The creature floats lower, a long prehensile tongue reaches out and grasps your cock firmly. It coils around you, like the tail of the yuan-ti woman you slept with a few months ago. You stare, unblinking, into the central eye. The beholder’s tongue is hot and moist. It grips you with ruthless efficiency and pulls you forward into the warm cavern of its mouth. The pressure of the tongue lessens just moments before you feel the sharp, ripping teeth clamp down.

Initiate combat with the Beholder using its bite attack in a surprise round.