DnD Sex Edition

The galeb duhr is a rock elemental that can easily pass for a boulder when stationary. They have basic limbs and are slow to act or speak. Galeb duhrs are asexual and reproduce when the “parent” dies and breaks apart into smaller pieces which can then grow to become new galeb duhrs. As an elemental, the galeb duhrs do not even necessarily eat or breath, but may absorb necessary sustenance from contact with rock.

The side of the mountain has large boulders that must have been moved into place a millennia ago when ice and water shaped the land. Or, perhaps they were strategically placed by a mad wizard trying to create a massive zen garden. Either way, scrambling over carriage-sized stones for the past several hours had really strained your legs and your patience. Surely, at least one of these stones was alive. The local bard had said the very hills were alive. Not that bards could all be trusted, but she had seemed very pleasant.

As the sun begins to set and you realize youmay need to call off your search, you see the man-sized bolder next to you lift very large stoney eyelids.

Make a Performance check (DC 15) to grope the galeb duhr.

On a success: You deliver your innuendo laden offer to the elemental and they seem to be considering your suggestion. At least, that’s what you believe the granite face is doing. It is more difficult than you realized to read expressions on a face that does not even twitch. The creature just stares at you as if they have eons to think about it. Minutes trickle away. Sweat cools on your skin. The sun sets.

The galeb duhr inhales and suddenly you’re aware the creature was not breathing before now. A low voice rumbles “You wish me to help you procreate?” (Spoken in Terran/Giant/Dwarven). The words are drawn out. When you answer in the affirmative, the galeb duhr stares at you. One giant rocky limb lifts from the earth and slams down. The galeb duhr attempts to shatter you into pieces.

Initiate combat with the galeb duhr performing an Avalanche Slam attack in a surprise round. The galeb duhr is only trying to give the PC what they asked for the only way they know how so if the PC attempts to speak with the elemental, they can avoid combat on a successful DC 15 Diplomacy.

On a fail: You deliver your innuendo laden offer to the elemental and they seem to be considering your suggestion. At least, that’s what you believe the granite face is doing. It is more difficult than you realized to read expressions on a face that does not even twitch. The creature just stares at you as if they have eons to think about it. Minutes trickle away. Sweat cools on your skin. The sun sets.

A low rumbling begins shaking the ground. Stones begin rolling towards you. The galeb duhr is done with having a creature such as you in their home.

Initiate combat with the galeb duhr Animating Boulders in a surprise round.