DnD Sex Edition

Stirges are Tiny bloodsucking mosquito/bat creatures. They are approximately a foot long with approximately 2 feet of wingspan which puts them on par with the Western Mastiff Bat. The Giant Stirge is a Small version of the same creature, estimated to be “halfling size,” which might be more Giant Golden-Crowned Flying Fox size. Stirges are not dimorphic as bats are so that would imply that they may mate more like birds. Recently, it has been documented that the bat penis is 7 times larger than a bat vagina (far too large to fit) so, despite being dimorphic, bats likely don’t participate in penetrative sex anyway. 

The darkness of the cave is absolute and your plan is solid. Mating with a stirge cannot be that difficult. They’re attracted to blood and you’ve got a cock full of it already. Adventuring into the unknown for a new conquest is enough to arouse your ardor. You move forward on near silent feet, listening to the odd humming of the cave. You’ve been practicing for weeks with a goblin’s stirge familiar so you’re fairly confident you have nailed the stirge mating call. You pull out your engorged cock since no one can see you in the darkness and you sing out the squeaky-door sound. 

Make a Performance check (DC 5) to stimulate a stirge.  

On a success: The rapid flapping of leathery wings explodes around you as a swarm of stirges swoop down. They latch on to any exposed skin they can find, including your cock. 

Initiate combat with 1d8 Stirges quite willing to suck blood (but not cock).

On a fail: Your voice cracks as you try to sing outside of your range. The odd humming in the cavern ceases and you hear the heavy flapping of leathery wings, much too large to be average stirge.  

Initiate combat with a Giant Stirge and optional 1d6 Stirges.