DnD Sex Edition

The tarrasque is one of the most feared creatures a TTRPG party can come up against. The tarrasque has one purpose in life and that is destruction. They are gargantuan reptilian creatures and attempting to seduce one as a medium sized human bard would be like an ant attempting to seduce a human. That said, we have to try! 

You step forward and give a swirl of your cape, hoping to use it as wings in a mating dance to attract the monstrous creature approaching you. You scan the massive creature and note a bulge between its rear legs, not unlike the massive phallus of the dragon turtle you encountered once. 

Perhaps there was more than one tarrasque. The legends of an entire world of them might be true. Afterall, if this one had a phallus, could it not mate like any other lizard? Were there not rumors of a female tarrasque? Surely, her worshippers would have not misidentified the sex of their goddess…

You continue your dance as it moves inevitably closer. The ultimate seduction, you give it your all. You draw upon your experiences seducing other reptilian species, bobbing your head and dropping into a series of push ups. You flutter your cape like bird wings in case this beautiful beast prefers a more effusive display. 

The heavy footsteps shake the earth you are performing on, but you are too nimble to fall. Your grace and sex appeal are unmatched and ready for this ultimate test of your skill.

Make a Performance check. This check cannot be passed. The dice roll is just to give the PC a moment of hope. The tarrasque cares only about eating and its intelligence is too low to be seduced.

The tarrasque pauses momentarily in front of you and reaches out a massive clawed hand. It grips you and tosses you into its maw.  

Take 16d6 acid damage (5e) or 6d6+22 plus 6d6 acid damage (Pathfinder). Follow the rules of Swallow Whole and initiate combat.