DnD Sex Edition

Umber hulks are bulky insectoid creatures that prefer to live and hunt in subterranean environments. While they may have some larger civilizations, most are noted to be solitary creatures who interact for brief matings. As umber hulks are similar to beetles, I’ve based my mating loosely on the beetles as well. Males have hardened projections that are often species specific and sometimes can “clean out” sperm left by previous males. 

The hulking creature before you emits an odd chittering sound that echoes oddly in the underground tunnel as it lumbers toward you. You wonder what its firm mandibles will feel like against your skin. Would the firm chitinous shell be warm against your back or would mating with this creature be more akin to rubbing against a suit of smooth, cool armor? It chitters again and strokes its antennae with a thick, powerful arm.

Performance check to see if the PC and the umber hulk start bumpin’ uglies (DC 10).

On a success: Strong claws grip your shoulder and spin you away from the bulky beast. The pressure on your shoulder does not lessen as a hard protuberance slips down the back of your trousers and pulls. The sound of tearing cloth makes you think one of the creature’s impressive mandibles has a cutting edge to it.  

If the umber hulk is male: A new protuberance pushes against your ass, hard with a slight edge, not unlike a blunted sword, and three distinctive tips. The umber hulks firm grip on your shoulder never lessens as the smooth, triple pointed aedeagus presses into you. You feel as though you’ve been impaled, but take no damage. Then, instead of thrusting as you expected, you feel a scraping sensation inside as though you’re being cleaned out. 

Take 1d10 damage. 

Nearly overwhelmed from the dull scraping pain inside, you almost miss the umber hulk withdrawing. Though, perhaps you don’t notice because something firm has been left behind. While you’re recovering and gathering the remains of your pants to cover yourself, the umber hulk sets off, burrowing a new tunnel into the cavern wall. 

If the umber hulk is female: The pressure on your shoulder lessens as the creature steps back away from you. As you turn, you see that she has turned away from you, but watches you carefully over her massive shoulder, waiting for you to make your move. Her genital opening is visible from this angle, so you approach, stroking yourself to hardness as you go. When you slide your cock inside, however, you find your path blocked by a firm, sticky wall. You thrust a few times, trying to break through, but pause when you cannot overcome what must have been left by her previous mate. Not wanting to continue to bruise your cock, you withdraw, unsatisfied. The umber hulk looks again at you and gives you a displeased sounding hiss. Turning away, she sets off, burrowing a new tunnel into the cavern wall.

On a fail: The umber hulk stares at you and emits a low hissing sound. Make a DC 15 Charisma saving throw against the Confusing Gaze effect. Initiate combat.