DnD Sex Edition

Lizardfolk are reptilian humanoids that live in simple societies, commonly in swamps as they are partially aquatic. Although they are commonly considered primitive, they have a society and are only slightly below average intelligence. It can be difficult for a non-lizardfolk to differentiate between males and females, but they are dimorphic as are real lizards. Also, they speak only draconic so all the words spoken below would be in draconic. While lizards commonly have bifurcated hemipenes (lizard dicks), only one gets used during sex at a time (source). 😦 

The lizardfolk stares at you unblinking for an uncomfortable amount of time until the skin at his neck enlarges and shifts from a green to a pinkish hue. He nods rhythmically as he approaches steadily. “Yes, I want to play. I’d be a good mate. Very strong.” He drops to the ground at your feet and starts doing push ups.

Performance check to see if the PC frolics with the lizardfolk (DC 5).

On a success, male lizardfolk: You are impressed by this display of strength and begin removing your clothes. The lizardfolk leaps up and quickly bites down on the side of your neck. Take 1d6+2 piercing damage (5e) or 1d4+1 (Pathfinder). You thrash in his jaws but the pressure remains firm as he proves to you just how strong of a mate he really is. The lizardfolk pulls out two dicks, one hard and one flaccid, but both have odd bumps on the end of a head. This lizardfolk is definitely a male. 

Strong scaly arms wrap around you and he maneuvers you into position. A cool dry hand with long claws wraps around your sex as the oddly shaped cock presses into you in a slow strong thrust. He stills once fully sheathed. Then adjusts his jaws on your neck while he pulls out and thrusts back in. The scales of his hand sliding over you feel oddly frictionless. He stills again. And then repeats the process. You feel as though he’s edging both of you, but he continues at this steady interrupted pace for what feels like hours until he empties himself and releases his jaws. Your neck feels sore and you still haven’t gotten relief as he never hit the rhythm and friction you needed for orgasm. 

“Good strong mate. Lay thick eggs,” he says just before he dives back into the swamp water and swims off leaving you frustrated and alone.   

On a success, female lizardfolk: You are impressed by this display of strength and begin removing your clothes. The lizardfolk leaps up and exposes his neck. At that moment, a larger lizardfolk emerges from the swamp. “She’s mine!” the new arrival snarls. Apparently, ‘your’ lizardfolk is a female. The larger male charges you.

Initiate combat. The lizardfolk gets a surprise round. The female will watch for a round before leaving. If she is attacked by the PC or their party, she will join the side of the male lizardfolk and fight back.

On a fail: You are unimpressed by this simplistic mating display. Push-ups? Really? The lizardfolk notices your disdain and stands. He licks a long tongue over one eye. “I’m stronger mate than you!” he snarls and lunges forward. 

Initiate combat. Lizardfolk gets a surprise round.