DnD Sex Edition

Zombies, the shambling undead that we all know and love, have the lowest intelligence score of an undead creature in the Monster Manual (5e). Yes, even worse than the Crawling Claw. Typically, they are created through an animate undead spell and can only follow basic commands, like “murder.” While zombies can be created from any corporeal creature that is not otherwise undead, we’re sticking with humanoids as the most common option and going with a horde since they have a tendency to move in groups.

You end your seduction with a particularly vulgar flourish. Zombies, such as the ones before you, are not known for their subtlety and you want to be certain you’ve gotten your point across. You would like them to brain them instead of them eating your brains, after all. 

The shambling horde approaches you and you sink to your knees to start opening the tattered remains of their breeches. The stench of undead flesh is overwhelming and only worsens as you expose each set of decaying genitals. Such is the price you’re willing to pay for the undead orgy of your dreams. As the last zombie from the horde joins the circle surrounding you, your face is struck by the first rotten cock. 

Deal automatic slam damage (1d6+4 Pathfinder; 1d6+1 5e) for each zombie opponent in a surprise round. Roll for initiative with the PC starting in a kneeling (mechanically prone) position.