DnD Sex Edition

The flumphs are levitating jellyfish monsters that feed on psionic energy (but also are carnivorous [source 1] and also eat vegetable matter [source 2]). What’s really interesting to me, however, is how different 5e and Pathfinder describe their mating. In 5e, the flumphs reproduce by budding, basically sprouting off a youngling without assistance similar to an aloe plant. This would be similar to jellyfish in the polyp form, but flumphs look more like the medusa form of a jellyfish, not the polyp form. In Pathfinder, mating is a whole ordeal (and more similar to the reproduction of jellyfish in the medusa form). As such, we’re going with the Pathfinder version as it leads to some craziness we’re not likely to find elsewhere! 

All flumphs contribute genetic material to reproduction, so biological sex won’t play a role in this. Feel free to pick whichever gender and pronouns, however, as jellies come in male, female, and hermaphroditic varieties. All communication from the flumphs is telepathic in Undercommon (5e) or Aklo or Common (Pathfinder). 

The flumph hovers in front of you and their body starts to turn from the nondescript blue white to a faint pink as they absorb your meaning. Words and feelings swim into your head. (The player may or may not be able to understand them). “We’re actually preparing to assist an honored one to flight. Would you like to join us?”

If the player can understand and would like to join: The flumph rises up and begins floating away, leading the party into the darkness. “Yes, come, come. You seem like strong and honorable adventures. You can add your seed!” After traveling for several minutes, you (and potentially the whole party) end up in a secluded area you never would have found without a guide. Two dozen flumphs of all sizes hover in a circle at different heights obscuring the center. Your flumph must communicate with them because there are suddenly 24 eyestalks swiveling to watch your approach while they continue to watch the center of their circle. Apart from the constant rhythmic puffs of air the flumphs use to levitate up and down, there is silence. 

Slowly, the cloud of flumphs thins out until there is a path directly in front of you and a clear view of the center. In the center of the flumphs is a small pool of white liquid. As you watch, a flumph floats over and secretes more white fluid into the pool. They’re building a seed pod of genetic material. Your flumph swims through your head again. “You can contribute to our egg if you would like.” 

Make a Performance check (DC 5) to see if you can join the flumph orgy. Any members of  the party are welcome to make the check to try and participate successfully.

On a success: When the flumphs turn back to look at you, you step forward to the pool of liquid. Feeling a bit awkward but also maybe turned on by everyone staring, you pull your own version of a tentacle from your pants. You try to bring yourself to a quick orgasm so you’re not holding up the line. After you add your genetic material to the pool, you step back to join the crowd.

On a fail: When the flumphs turn back to look at you, you step forward to the pool of liquid. Feeling awkward by everyone staring, you pull your own version of a tentacle from your pants, very aware that your “tentacle” isn’t the three feet of length the flumphs are sporting. You try to bring yourself to a quick orgasm so you’re not holding up the line, but after several minutes of dry stroking, you can’t get it to happen. Embarrassed, you tuck yourself away and step back to join the crowd.

After all party members and flumphs have added their genetic material: The last flumph floats away and suddenly your mind is filled with an overwhelming number of voices, each arguing their achievements. “I warned the last three parties of adventures that there were mindflayers about!” “Well, I’ve not only been hunting for myself, but three others!” “That makes you more vital here! I have no young to keep me here!” The arguing goes on for several minutes. 

Here, dear GM, you can make a choice. If the PC is annoying and you want to get rid of them for seducing everything under the stars, pick them as the Honored One. If not, a flumph will be picked by general consensus of the crowd. Of course, if a PC joins the argument, they can make a Diplomacy/Persuasion check (DC 25) to be picked as the Honored One.

Eventually, a flumph is chosen and the crowd settles down again to a nearly silent chorus of air puffs. The Honored One floats forward and uses their tentacles to swirl the genetic material into a round egg. (This egg can be handed to the PC if they are the Honored One). The flumphs start to float upwards, spaced out at regular intervals from one another, forming a tower of tentacles reaching to the stars. Gripping the Honored One, the lowest flumph grips and slings them upward to the next on the chain. Each flumph grips and slings gaining more and more momentum until the Honored One is hurtling up at an unfathomable speed. They quickly become too small and fast to track. For several long moments, from the ground it appears nothing happens, but then the flumphs give a shout of triumph and start floating back down to earth. The Honored One has been sent to the stars.

Flumphs are generally friendly so there is no bad or good outcome for the players other than they can now obtain whatever information they wanted from the original flumph they encountered. If players ask, the Honored One was indeed trying to get the seed pod to outer space. The Honored One likely dies upon impact with the earth having used all of its strength to launch the seed pod.